College Ruined My Passion

Like many, I was told that college is way better than high school, and I mean, it is. In many different areas, such as you can eat in class and you aren't entirely forced to go. I enjoy college. I was under the impression, since I love art, that taking the visual arts degree at my local college, would be my best bet.

I spent years drawing, and doodling in my sketchbooks, notebooks, or any form of paper, I could find. Art in general was my passion. I spent more time trying to get my drawing correct over learning about the Pythagorean Theorem. Although, I tried my best to focus in class, every time I had a spare paper, I was drawing. When I would go home, I spent hours in my room drawing on paper, or using my Wacom tablet on my laptop.

When the talk of college came around, I knew exactly that I wanted to take art. I didn't know, If I wanted to do photography, graphic design or just basic visual arts. I was told by many others, "College is totally way better, you get to do what you want, you don't have to take math!"

To me, that was the bonus. Being able to just take art classes, all day long.

When I got to college, I was taking the Visual Arts Program and I was very nervous, I knew many others would be 10x better than me. I finally got comfortable as a few weeks went on, but as I started to go to class, I realized how much I actually didn't want to be there. It took me a while to realize that I was taking basic art classes, and we had to be taught the basic starts of art and drawing.

I enjoyed my instructors, but honestly, it just felt like I didn't care to draw anymore. I was being told what to draw, how to draw it, and nothing else. I wanted to do my own thing, and just learn from what I was being taught. I learned a lot, but I still felt like my art wasn't growing, and that my instructors couldn't see my potential.

I was in class from Monday- Thursday from 9am-5PM and sometimes, I was even at college from 9am-9pm, constantly drawing..circles. Freaking circles. Balloons, basket balls, jars, jars..and more jars. The idea of drawing, just wasn't a passion for me anymore. I felt like I had to force myself to draw. I mean, I understand you need to learn the fundamentals of art and drawing, but for 8 weeks I drew balloons and empty whiskey jars. I got exhausted from feeling like I wasn't learning anything. I wanted to learn how to change my art and begin a style, or how to draw a human, or live models. I felt like I was just pumping out horrific drawings and nothing was coming from my soul.

I think what was wrong was I was expecting to go into the art class, drawing whatever I wanted, but we really needed to start small, and learn the basics, after all, it was a beginners college program. I wasn't just drawing jars, I was learning how to draw what I see, not what I think i see, and also learning shading, and lighting. But what I really wanted, was to be given experiments, and not still life. The only time I truly enjoyed my time at college was in the last 4 weeks, we got 3 assignments that were worded like:

You are an alien, how would you describe earth in a painting

Choose an art style and make an advertisement

Paint anything with a different texture (ex. wolf with bark as fur..haha get it)

Honestly, that wasn't bad, because I got to turn on my creative mind and think, I didn't have to just draw...a freaking jar. But I didn't go back for my next semester because I just knew I couldn't do it. As much as I loved art, I think I was in the wrong art program.

College ruined my passion for me. It took me a year to pick up a pencil again and just draw. When I was in college, I felt so forced to just put anything out, and I really just felt like my passion was drained from me.

Its slowly coming back. I think the problem with my college courses were, I was being told what to do constantly, with really no feed back, and no creative vibes. I just wanted to create art.

I don't think the instructors, or program was awful, I think my expectations were just wrong, from being told, "College is fun! You do what you love!"

Its been almost a year and half and I'm just beginning to love art again. I'm getting back into art, and I am learning how to love art again.

So, I give this as a warning to art lovers, make sure you look into the program before you apply.

Anyways, I think I'm going to try and get back into photography, lets see how that goes.